


Cibophobia

by nebulaesailor



Series: Phobias [3]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Family Feels, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 07:46:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18752074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nebulaesailor/pseuds/nebulaesailor
Summary: Cibophobia1. an abnormal or morbid aversion to food or to eating.-Chara has lost the will to live because without Leo there is no point in living. Grovyle struggles to keep them alive as she stopped eating altogether.





	Cibophobia

**Author's Note:**

> Food and depression are a weird thing. You either eat too little or too much and there is no in between. It's the same with sleep.

Grovyle cut the apple on the cutting board, his mind in far off places as he cut notches at the tip of the apple slices to resemble Victini. As a child, Chara always got a kick out of it and it would often make them feel better when they were hurt or sick. He hoped they still liked them because he at the moment was running out of ideas. They hadn’t eaten anything in days and they seemed determined on the path of starvation. The thought of forcing them to eat was unappealing to him to say the least, but he be damned if let Chara slip away on his watch. 

He placed the apple slices in a small wooden bowl and walked towards her room at the end of the hall. His feet creaked as he walked along the old wooden floorboards of the rundown cabin, letting out a sigh through his nostrils as he opened the door to Chara’s room. They hadn’t moved since the last time he came in a few hours ago. With a blanket draped over their head as they lied in bed motionless in the middle of the day. Static for days on end as they stared out at nothing, they had been like this for more than a week stuck in a depression so deep that he wonder if they would ever come back. 

The loss of Leo and the news they could never return to their life in the past had been an blade straight to their heart. They had become nearly catatonic in a sense that barely anyone could actually reach them and even when they did they received little acknowledgment that they were even understood. Grovyle was trying to be patient with them; depression was a horrible disease that he wouldn’t wish on anyone but it was getting under his skin. It was as if they had completely given up on living, probably hoping to starve to death as they refused to eat. Chara was never someone to give up so completely; even in the most dire moments they still found a reason to hope and fight on. Now they were just a dried up husk of their old self, already halfway to a corpse.

He placed a claw on their covered head and stroked it, letting them know that he was there and would be there regardless even as they isolated themself and pushed him way. They shifted under the blankets slightly, probably aroused from sleep as it was the only thing they did besides stare vacantly at the wall and cry. Nowadays, they were asleep more than she were awake. Their dreams were probably better than their reality because at least Sirius was there even if he wasn’t real. A lie was often sweeter than the truth.

“Chara, you need to eat. I can’t stand watching you waste away to nothing and you’ve come too far to give up now. Please, just eat a few slices.” He pleaded with them, placing the wooden bowl on the floor next to their face. 

Their vacant eyes flickered at his as they slowly rose from the bed, glaring at the unassuming fruit because they were tired of snapping at Grovyle. They knew they were a burden and making his life harder than it needed to be. They already hated themself for that; there was already too much guilt as it was. Their whiskers quivered and their eyes filled with salty tears as they lifted a single apple slice from the bowl and chew it slowly. There was horrible gagging noises when they tried to force themselves swallow; once it was finally down, they sobbed and coughed while Grovyle patted them on the back. Anybody else would’ve called it overdramatic but Grovyle had been there and had only empathy for the kid. A victory was a victory no matter how small.

Chara repeated the action but with less choking until there was nothing left in the bowl. Still they cried the entire time, so much that Grovyle was afraid they were going to puke. He had to get up and get them a bowl of water so they didn’t dehydrate. When he came back in the room, they had downed it all and curled up in his lap. His claws ran through their tostled fur in long even strokes in hopes of calming them down. Soon a purr started to erupt from their throat though he knew it was not from pleasure; it was an attempt at self soothing as they were still in distress. They laid lifeless in his lap not really capable of doing anything as they were too exhausted even to sleep. 

“I want to die.” They murmured which made Grovyle’s eyes sting and his heart break.

“I can’t let you kill yourself, Chara. It will get better I promise but it takes time. You just have to trust me.” He said though his voice sounded hollow and tired.

“I just want the pain to go away. It doesn’t end except in my sleep. I wish I could sleep forever because at least it doesn’t hurt there.” Chara curled further in on themself as if to hide from his judgement.

“You can hide from the pain all you want but everybody must wake up at some point and when you do, it will be there waiting. The only way it will go away is by enduring it. There is no easy way out.” His hand was still and firm on their back as their eyes flickered up at his then quickly averted.

“That sounds hard and awful.”

“That’s because it is. I really don't know what to tell you, Chara. It will be the most difficult and horrible thing you will face yet but you have no other option. As I said before suicide is out of the question and I will go to any lengths to keep you safe and alive even if you resent me for it.” He felt her body tense as their paw slapped his claws away, they then backed themself into a corner.

“What right do you have to think you can make any decisions for me! I'm not a child anymore, Grovyle! I can take care of myself!” They snarled as their fur bristled on end and looked on the verge of attacking.

“You aren't in the right frame of mind, Chara! Also, you can't take care of yourself; who do you think was caring for you the entire time you have been in this depressive stupor! I hate to break to you, Chara, but you are still a child and can't make reasonable decisions at the moment so I have to make them for you.” Grovyle defensively crossed his arms over his chest as he closed in Chara like the cornered animal they were.

“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME DIE!!” They screamed as fire reflexively rose in their mouth like bile, only to have him scruff them easily with his right hand before they were able to do any damage.

“Chara, calm down.” He said coolly, holding them at an arm's length as they snarled and tried to bite at his hand.

They were then shaken roughly by the scruff and stiffened from the pain and shock as Grovyle held them to face him. Chara then felt very foolish and ashamed; like a small kit throwing a tantrum instead of a hero who saved the world. Tears started to gather in their eyes as they felt Grovyle’s disappointed and hurt gaze bore into them that hurt more than any attack he could've placed on them. Grovyle had done nothing but take care and worry about them the entire time they had been ill; never once berating or telling them to get over it as he knew what it was like to lose the desire to live. They never once considered how he must of felt having to watch his only remaining family member wither away in front of him. He only did this out of concern and love and thry attacked him for it. They allowed themself to go limp in his grasp.

“Chara, look at me.” Grovyle’s voice was stern but held no anger as the vulpix looked up at him with teary guilt filled eyes.

“I'm sorry.” They whispered, Grovyle unscruffed them and placed them on the floor where he knelt to their level.

“I know and I forgive you.” His voice softened as he smoothed back their ears and tilted thei chin up to face him.

“I love you very much, Chara, and I want you to get well. No matter how much you don’t want me around; I will still stay by your side regardless. But you need to meet me halfway and put an effort towards recovery. You need stop wallowing in your own self pity.” Chara’s ears flattened against their skull but nodded solemnly as they couldn’t help but agree. 

“Okay.” Was all they said before they again were lifted up but this time in the crook of Grovyle’s arm and was taken outside their room.

“Where are we going?” They asked their brother who continued to walk towards the door of the old house and opened it so they were outside.

“We are getting something I lacked when I was recovering from depression: sunshine.” He said as he sat down under an apple tree in the front yard with Chara in his lap.

Chara allowed themself to take a deep breath and absorb the scenery around them. From the soft breeze that blew through the tall grass to the brilliant wildflowers that soaked in the warm sun that was lazily starting to dip towards the horizon as it was getting closer towards evening. It was beautiful and they took it for granted. This was why they fought Dialga and ultimately sacrificed a life with Leo. But was it worth it? At the moment they didn’t know.

Was this a life worth living? 

They couldn’t answer that at the moment but they'd try regardless. They were tired of breaking people’s hearts.

**Author's Note:**

> It seems all the kids are sad these days. I've been having a rather rough time lately as well as my own partner. I suppose this is a way to vent.


End file.
